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And Jet Said...
November 11th, 2007
Orange Chicken Nigiri...
Was actually pretty good. I might change the almonds to almond powder though. My ability to make nigiri (or sticky rice) sucks though. Maybe I bought the rong rice though. I bought cheapo brand round grain rice from Migros because it looked like short grain rice. It sticks together about as well as my attempts with Sushi-brand in the 'States, so maybe I just suck. More sugar in the dressing maybe.
Either way, the combination of chicken (sauteed in shoya, cinnamon, and ginger) with orange slices, almonds, and a dab of wasabi was actually quite good.
I need a better name though. In the tradition of naming these things after states, maybe I'll go with Florida Roll. Or Japanese-ize it into Faroridamaki. To go with Kaliforaniamaki, Kororadomaki, Hawaiimaki, and Firaderofiamaki. Need to figure out some way to get Tekasasomaki. Something involving BBQ sauce...
Also note, my intent is not to make fun of Japanese people with the whole l->r thing. L just isn't a sound Japanese uses. While any infant is born with the ability to say something like 400 phenomes, if you don't use 'em, you lose 'em and no language uses all of them. So when the Japanese adapt English words, they substitute r in for l, and they also don't like to put two consonents next to one another or alone, except for a specific n-like sound that words can end on.
November 10th, 2007
Revamped the site. Added music. Reorganized.
November 9th, 2007
Sushi Recipes
I've been experimenting with some non-fish sushi rolls. Perhaps someone else has tried this, so there may be other names.
Colorado Roll
------------------
-
A thin cut of steak, cooked then slice in thin stripes
Red peppers
line of wasabi
served maki style, dipped in shoya and wasabi mix.
Hawaiian Roll
----------------------
Hamsteak, cooked and sliced in strips
pineapple
line of wasabi
served maki style, dipped in shoya and wasabi mix
The above two are pretty good (especially the Hawaiian roll, the Japanese do something similar with SPAM, but I can't remember if they use pineapple too).
I've experiments with the Elvis Roll (bacon, banana, and peanut butter) but I don't like the nori and banana combination.
I'me going to try a BLT roll this week, with nori replace the L. I'm also going to try an orange chicken nigiri (slice of orange, slice of chicken, maybe some almonds). And something with kangeroo.
Heh, I was thinking about going to an expat Thanksgiving and need something to bring. Maybe I'll take yam maki.
November 8th, 2007
Negative Numbers
Apparently, 15 million people in Britain have poor numeracy (I'm sure it's something like 75 million in the US based on population alone). This wouldn't be much of a problem in their lives (other than how it limits them to certain lives), except now it has effected their scratch tickets.
Somebody came up with a scratch ticket with negative numbers. The ticket said to scratch off a lower number than that shown. The problem comes when the ticket says -7 and they scratch off -5. Obviously, -5 is greater than -7, so they lose. If you don't understand that, you have poor numeracy, don't email me trying to argue, you're stupid, move on. Which is what these poor British lotto addicts are. They go in thinking they've won and are perplexed (think of a dog staring at food behind glass) when they discover they haven't.
Money quote:
"I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it."
Source.
September 30th, 2007
Joyeuse Funerailles...
...may or may not be what the film Death at a Funeral is called in French. I go up to the counter and say, "Je voudrais un billet pour Joyeuse Funerailles a quienze heure et demi," and thing spiral into confusion from there. I thought I was clear. Also annoying is that it cost me 17 francs 50 centimes (1 franc = $.85).
The paperback I bought cost 16 francs! Of course, looking at the back, it's listed as about 7 pounds, which is 14 dollars, or 12 loonies (Canadian, listed, the loonie actually equals the dollar now, or close to it), so it actually appears that America is an oasis of cheap paperbacks in comparison to Britain and Canada. Either that, or we don't read so demand->0, price->0. Eh. Still sucks.
Either way, the movie Death at a Funeral was good. An amusing, seemingly British comedy, directed by an American (Yoda). Alan Tudyk is in it too and spends 95% of the film acting stoned out of his gourd. Always enjoy seeing him in a film or tv show, though not necessarily stark as naked as he his in this one for a large portion.
Not sure how many films I'm going to see at Pathe Balexert if the price is CHF17.50 though...shit...I think Ferney-Voltaire is cheaper...but how do I get there?...must buy a clown car...
August 18th, 2007
Superbad
Superbad was everything I could have hoped it would be. Usually I psych myself up and then suffer demoralizing dissapointment (e.g. Spider-Man 3, the Prequel Trilogy, &.c.). But Superbad delivered. The first thirty minutes crackle with humor in nearly every line, and authentic humor too, because High Schoolers really do talk like that, or at least I did. Of course, I still do, but I'm often told that I have problems determining proper subjects for conversation. Something about octopodes popping up into far to many disparate subjects (full disclosure: I want to eat one. Alive. With sauce).
August 15th, 2007
Axe Body Wash
I think I'm allergic to this shit. Monday night my eyelids inflated (I looked like Matt) and I'm itchy in patches.
It might be the volcanic ash in the body wash.
I am not experiencing the Axe effect. I'm going back to Irish Spring. Leprachaun action is better than allergic reaction.
August 5th, 2007
The Bourne Ultimatum
These movies are much cooler when you recognize the scenes as places one has been, like the Arc De Triump, the Gare Du Nord, the streets of New York City.
Little exasperated with the lengths they go to keep bringing back Julia Styles character.
July 13th, 2007
Sunshine
Eh. Good ambiance and creativity, which I expect of Boyle. But the science was hit and miss.
The scene where Capa, Mace, and Harvey try to jump the void between airlocks stands out, because it's actually half-way believable, and also because it's a 2001 rip-off (which was also half-way believable. I particularly like that Mace tells Harvey to exhale slowly, which was a flaw in 2001. It looks to me like Dave was holding his breath, which is a good way to guarantee explosive decompression. I find the whole freezing thing a bit dicey. Vacuum is actually a good insulator (no material to conduct heat), which is why they use it in Thermoses. The moisture on and in the body would start to evaporate, and that could leach heat from the body. However, we've seen decompression accidents in both the Soviet and American space programs, and it didn't happen. They should also have tied themselves to Capa. 'Tards. Even if it took a few minutes to reel Harvey in, that's fine. One can survive 4 minutes or so in vacuum before brain damage (due to lack of oxygen) sets in. One is only conscious for about 10 or 15 seconds.
Apparently the explanation for why gravity is so readily available to the crew was cut from the film. To bad, it's ridiculous otherwise. At one point the gravity just turns on when air pressure is restored. Not completely unbelievable if they were in a giant rotating room, because the centrifugal force from the rotation can couple through air. But they were in little airlock, which would have to be spun too fast in order to produce a gee, everyone would be puking. Plus they wouldn't have fallen all the same, but depending on which wall they were closer to.
It's even more ridiculous if you take into account all the rotating sections one can see on the ship. Apparently those rotating boom arms had comms equipment, because when you're trying to maintain a fix on a moving object from a moving object, adding whirling shit will help.
A lot of the problems introduced in the film are stupid things that no smart person would include in the mission. Comms shouldn't enter a black out. The ship has access to huge amounts of solar power, so a coms laser is very doable. Combine that with link sats at lagrange points or in donut orbits to catch the Icarus II outside the limb of the sun, blackout solved. The heat shields should automatically adjust, not just try, it should. Human intervention shouldn't be necessary, because orbital perturbations will show up. A maintanance team should have it's own, smaller sun shield. If that big-ass can be built out of those panels, a tug should be available with one.
Never mind the concept. Reignite the fricking sun? With all of our frickin' uranium? Are you high!? You should be using the uranium to keep warm and pumping hydrocarbons into the atmosphere, pushing the space program to get off the planet. Not reignite the sun. Fuck it. Get in space and mine the moon, Jupiter, the minor bodies for fissionable, fusionables, and maybe even hydrocarbons, in addition to every other material we use. There's a third of an Earth out there in bite-size bits, not bound up in one 8 thousand mile wide sphere of magma. Build giant mirror ships to reflect more sunshine onto the planet, not to visit the sun. Put giant mirror and solar panel ships in cisMercury orbit and beam power to the outer system.
Really, the movie demonstrates modern films lack of imagination in science fiction, founded largely are their lack of knowledge about science to begin with. And yes, I'm aware Brian Cox was science advisor. But so have a ton of crap science fiction movies had science advisors, and they're all weak on the science. Science advisors get ignored. In Brian Cox' case, it sounds like he was mainly used to make sure Cillian Murphy acted like a proper physicist, all distant and cold.
Disclaimer:
You can piss and moan about suspension of disbelief when entering a movie theater, but hey, fuck you. It's science fiction. Science (and technology) are supposed to drive the plot. Bitching about someone criticizing the science of a science fiction film is like bitching about someone criticizing the action in an action movie. It means you're a moron and should shut your ignorant pie hole. And no Star Wars isn't science fiction, it's space fantasy.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in the Third Dimension!
I went and saw HP5OP at the Imax 3D last night. That 3D stuff was pretty slick shit. At first I was a little miffed that the whole film wasn't in 3D, just the climax, but after watching the 3D for a while, I realized that wasn't a bad thing. You can't tilt your head while watching, or the filters don't align right, so it can be uncomfortable, either ramrod straight or getting the cross eyed affect.
They took the glasses away from me at the end anyway, so what they should do is somehow weight the lenses, so they always find vertical.
Still pretty neat though. Can't wait for 3D porn.
July 13th, 2007
DirectTV Aliens Spot
I guess I had higher expectations of Sigourny Weaver. Eh...whatever. I'm not gonna hold makin' a buck against her. I just find the Aliens Direct TV commercial less apealling than the Back to the Future or Dukes of Hazzard one.
July 1st, 2007
Sci-Fi is remaking Flash Gordon
duh duh duh duh duh duh - Flash!!! Ahhhhhh! Savior of the Universe!!!!!
He'll save everyone of us!
Anyhoo. Sci-Fi is releasing a new tv series of Flash Gordon. Looking back, it seems they already did this. They called it Farscape though. Gordon was Crichton, Ming/Klytus was Crais/Scorpius/Kinky Sex Captain. Guy from Earth in alien civilization, Flash Gordon. Alright maybe it's more a bit of Flash Gordon a bit of Buck Rogers, because Crichton is more Buck Rogers like.
Check this out though:
That could be a Farscape set.
To be clear, I'm not saying Farscape was a ghastly rip-off of Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon. I liked Farscape quite a bit and I'm happy to see anyone do the themes of Buck and Flash better than they've been done before, even by Buck and Flash. What I am saying, is that Sci-Fi had a show that was probably similar to what Flash Gordon will be, was quite popular, and they canned it.
It's really just one more reason to find Sci-Fi goofy, starting with the fact that they pass off an B-movie techno movie or fantasy as being representative of science fiction (real fans don't even use the term Sci-Fi because it is associated with the type of crap on Sci-Fi, so at least they're named right). Magic movies are not Sci-Fi.
LIVE FREE or DIE HARD!
Was alright. I don't necessarily think it was quite up to par with the others (I favor the original and Die Hard with a Vengence, but that is because Sam Jackson is my personal Lord and Savior). To be fair, John McClane was certainly hard to kill. But this just seems too big. Or maybe not.
After all, in the progression of things, we go building < airport < the City < United Fuckin' States. Maybe 4.0 should have been a state, then the 'States, but one can see how McClane saves bigger and bigger things. Next they'll remake Armageddon with McClane. Or just change the character names and first fifteen minutes.
I think Long was alright too, that he was plenty quirky and disagreeable with McClane, and Winstead was great as Lucy McClane.
Mainly I went to see the scene with the CGI F-35B. Really, a pilot who did shit like fly the Lightning -they should give the F-35B a different name, Lightning seems wrong for a hovering war machine, it's the opposite of the impression speed gives, an image of swift power versus the F-35B's delivery of hovering punishment. Though really, it's a moot point, no one really fights with these in hover anyway, that's just so the plane can land and take-off from almost anywhere...anyway, Lt. Hotshit would get his wings taken away for endangering a plane like that. It was still cool though. I've been waiting to see that plane in action since the nineties. I was rooting for McDonnell-Douglass in the JSF program though. That V-tail design was destinctive and lacked the F-22 junior look, but we can't pick war machines based on how pretty they are. Would have been nice to see how it stacked up against the F-35 though.
There is one thing the film was definitely lacking though, and that was antagonism. I guess Die Hard with a Vengeance also lacked it, but Die Hard and Die Harder both had elements of not just McClane versus terrorists, but McClane fighting the authorities for the power to act as well. That might have helped some, instead of just calling Beauman every time he needed assistance. This could have been especially helpful in light of the fact that the villains weren't particularly memorable in comparison to the Colonel and the Brothers Gruber. People have talked about Maggie Q, but really all she was asskicking eye-candy. She wasn't a Carl. The French free-runner was somewhat impressive, but once you realize that the only reason the bad guys speak French at Olyphont and he speaks back in English is because they hired free-runners (who tend to be French, they introduced it to cinema) to play the bad guys. Impressive little hamster, but couldn't Olyphont have spoken French back?
The film was an alright popcorn movie, despite the fact that I refuse to get movie popcorn (I like mine plain). It was certainly far fetched (a fire extenguisher will not knock a man through a window), but it made me laugh a bit and it's fun to root for McClane.
June 25th, 2007
The Namesake
Really good film. Kal Penn did quite well, a distinct turn from his usually panoply of Van Wilders, Harold and Kumars, or Lex Luthor henchman. The kid could conceivably be in the mold of Tom Hanks.
I was even more impressed with Irrfan Khan though, who played Kal Penn's dad. He gave the character a nice quiet reserve.
It didn't hurt that Tabu and Zuleikhah Robinson are attractive either.
June 3rd, 2007
Jim Hoffmann and the Depleted Uranium Kool-Aid
Recently, Jim Hoffmann of Carbondale, CO wrote a letter in to the Daily Sentinel. He sent the same letter to some newspaper in Carbondale. I also wrote a letter to the Daily Sentinel, which as of this posting hasn't been published. Maybe it will be in Monday's paper. In the letter I made fun of Mr. Hoffmann for being an empty headed neo-luddite, though not quite that explicitely. I also ridiculed the idea that the ability to detect uranium proved it could damage DNA.
Mr. Hoffmann's letter in the 'Sentinel made this argument:
"A fast, portable detector for the uranium 238 nano-particles has been developed. It is capable of detecting U238 nano-particles at 11 parts per trillion, thus demonstrating the danger of virus-sized U238 to alter DNA."
Unfortunately, after sending my letter off, I came across the following on the website of the Carbondale Valley Journal, an expanded version of Mr. Hoffmann's claims:
"A fast, portable detector for the uranium 238 nano-particles has been developed. It uses the U238 nanoparticles' ability to split a DNA strand and is capable of detecting U238 nanoparticles at 11 parts per trillion, thus demonstrating the mutagenic danger of virus sized U238 to alter DNA."
This isn't surprising, as the Sentinel editors have edited portions out of my own published letters (2! One rooting for stripclubs, one on God and Science! Here's hoping for my Depleted Uranium letter!), most likely with the goal of saving space without harming meaning. In this case meaning was harmed.
I apologize for ridiculing the idea that detection of Uranium nano-particles leads to proving that they damage DNA.
Now before you (Matt) start worrying that something is wrong, that I'm admitting to being wrong (an unlikely occurance), we bring you the regularly scheduled vitriol.
I'm not apologizing to Mr. Hoffmann. I'm just sorry the Daily Sentinel screwed the pooch in the editing room that day and deprived me of the opportunity to lay into Mr. Hoffmann some more.
Armed with the Carbondale Valley Journal version of the letter I might have added that John Hoffmann is either a complete ignoramus who's opinion on the matter is invalid just by virtue of it being held by an idiot, or that he is a disingenious, scare-mongering, neo-luddite prick. Not in so many words of course, I don't think the Sentinel will let me call people idiots, ignoramuses, or (mainly) pricks. I did allude to him being a neo-luddite, we'll see if that got past.
Mr. Hoffmann claims that the detector works by detecting the damage done to DNA by uranium 238 nano-particles. This is horseshit. The detector doesn't make use of chromosome DNA, it makes use of DNAzymes, pieces of DNA that act like the more well known protein enzymes. The DNAzyme is a naturally occuring molecule that reacts to UO22+ (uranyl) ions, one of a class of DNAzymes that react to metals and bind with them. Something your body would find useful in, say, your kidneys where you have to filter out the uranium (including uranyl ions) that exists at parts per billion in water supplies and parts per million in soil and rocks (so no big surprise again that kidney damage is the only thing to fear from depleted uranium, as I mentioned in the letter). The detector, developed by Yi Lu at U of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, uses a DNAzyme where a "cleavage site" has been artificially added to make it split. They also added a piece of DNA that flouresces on side of the cleave, and another bit of DNA that surpresses the flourescenes on the other side. So voila! Without uranium present, the DNA just sits there and doesn't flouresce when exposed to UV light. A uranyl comes along and binds to the DNAzyme, which causes the cleavage site to break up the DNAzyme, which frees the flourescing part from the surpressing part, and now you get glowing DNA. The sensitivity is probably connected to the ability of photomultiplier tubes to pick up the scant signal at 13 parts per trillions. The next step is that an empty-headed twit or duschbag comes along and misinterprets the experiment to meet his own ends. The crucial part here is that Li Yi added the cleavage site. Uranyl doesn't naturally break up DNA, this DNA was engineered by a person to break.
He also uses the weasel term nano-particles. He can get away with it because uranium atoms are only about 200 nm across, and adding two oxygens probably doesn't push that past the micrometer scale. But the purpose of using the term nano-particles is probably to tie depleted uranium and nanoscale fabrication and technologies into a big neo-luddite scare, because applying the term nano-particle to a goddam ion is ridiculous. The use of nano-particles and nano in general most often refers to special particles at which new attributes emerge at nano-scales (like materials that appear to be different colors when ground to different fineness) or to materials fabricated by humans at nano-scales, in order to take advantage of these attributes.
See here for info on the detector.
See here for John Hoffman's full letter to the editor at the Carbondale Valley Journal. Might be time sensitive. Oh well. Update: It's gone now.
I am a little worried that I shortened depleted uranium to DE for some reason instead of DU. Hate when I absent-mindly do shit like that.
UPDATE: I'm sending another letter based on this new information. It makes for better damnation.
UPDATE: 'Sentinel published the first letter. Shoot.
June 2nd, 2007
Knocked Up
Pretty funny, but not quite as funny as The 40 Year Old Virgin. Rogen and Rudd were great. I might go see this one again and not fall asleep. Plus, Katharine Heigl is hot.
Actually, I think one of the funniest bits was Ryan Seacrest.
And Ramis as Rogen's dad was great casting.
On reflection though, there isn't enough nudity. The annoying boyfriend from Undeclared was naked about as much as anyone.
UPDATE: I forgot. There is exposed genitals, but there's also the crown of an infant emerging from them...not the sexiest moment for a bajingo.
The European Union
Will Europe keep pushing this whole EU thing, and the whole meme about being a bigger country than the US, having a big military, bigger economy, and so on?
If so, and they are becoming all unified, does that mean they only get one Olympic team? One World Cup team? Can we consolidate France and Britain's seats on the Security Council, maybe give one to India or Brazil? Can we make them shrink down to one embassy in DC instead of 25?
Because a hydra makes for a shitty way to run a nation.
May 30th, 2007
Surface Computing
This is neat, but I'm still waiting for my vr headset and volume computing. I want to strew the virtual space around me with pictures and windows and put image surfaces anyware.
May 29th, 2007
Pirates of the Caribbean
Is it two b's in that damn word? Either way At World's End was marginally entertaining, worth one viewing. I fell asleep for half of it on my second viewing, right around where Keith Richards popped in and woke up right after the Endeavor got hulled.
Neither sequel lives up to the original. The Curse of the Black Pearl was long, but the balance of action and comedy gave the film a pace that made it's running time agreeable. The sequels didn't manage the pacing as well and didn't merit the long running times. Yet somehow, Dead Man's Chest felt like half of a movie.
I think the comedic balance is better in this movie, mainly because one Jack Sparrow is amusing, an entire ship of Jack Sparrow's is hilarious. But the ending dragged.
I also have to say that I find the moral compass of these films dubious. I know I'm not supposed to take it seriously, but I still have to say that in the real world, the pirates all deserve to be hung and Lord Beckett is the good guy. After seeing the film, a friend pointed out that Beckett did have Governor Swann killed, but at the same time, Governor Swann was a public officially who looked the other way for a particular bunch of pirates. Execution might be extreme, but I think few people would care if a politician known to be friendly with the Mafia was punished. Apparently, "expanded universe" books expand on the history of Beckett and Sparrow, that Beckett enlisted Sparrow as a slaver and Sparrow rebelled, that Sparrow never murdered anyone, etc. But presented solely with the movie, Jack is a pirate and Beckett is a merchant and pirates deserve to hang. And now an overgrown carnival ride has an expanded universe.
May 24th, 2007
The Writers and Producers of Lost...
...are morons. On the second hour of the season finale tonight, how exactly did the water get above the level of the port hole? Where did the air go? They included a moon pool in the underwater base, so do they not understand the concept? Or did they just see a rerun of the Abyss on cable and decide that it looked neato? Morons.
And how unkillable is that Ukranian guy? Will he be bumping around one-handed next season too?
May 13th, 2007
Live Free or Die Hard!
Just became more likely to lure me into the theatre.
It's got an F-35! The Joint Strike Fighter! The Marine variant, with lift fan!
Fuckin' Aye! Versus John McClane! This movie might not deeply suck, just shallowly!
Interestingly, non-Marine variants might be the first fighter craft to sport direct energy weapons. The Marine variant doesn't have the room though.
It's also got Kevin Smith. I just like that fat fuck.
It's also got Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I need say no more.
AND MAGGIE Q!
...but it's directed by Len Wiseman...shit...
28 Weeks Later
Was a pretty good follow up to the first one. I've heard that the last one had the ending changed for American audiences (we tend to prefer, and get, more upbeat endings), but this one has a pretty bleak ending.
Castwise, it's always good to see Harold Perrineau and Robert Carlyle. Jeremy Renner (the guy from SWAT and Penn in Angel) was alright too. Imogen Poots, while cursed with an oddball name, is hot. Loved her eyes.
Idris Elba didn't get enough screen time. It might have been cliche, but some scenes with the zombies getting into HQ and General Stone getting his hands dirty might have been nice. Or maybe he'll get more screen time in 28 Months Later (set in Korea!?).
I can see it now, 28 Months Later, in say Korea, or the Middle East (Terrorism meets real Terror!) after the Rage virus has spread through Asia. Maybe set it in Egypt/Israel and look at attempts to keep it out of Africa. I like the Korean/Japanese angle though. Say the US is more and more stressed to stop the spread (because we have troops everywhere, it would affect us everywhere), pressed at home to bring home the troops and write off the world. The Japanese are in trouble, because the US is doing just that, recalling troops from Asia and the Middle East to reposition them at the Bering Strait and Panama Canal, effectively cutting off North America, even while Australia, South Am, and various Islands remain uninfected.
Then we get 28 Years Later, the US has held out (or maybe not, maybe it's like On the Beach, and only Oz remains), but survivors from Asia/Africa have popped up in the wake, youngsters who want to sneak into the US or Oz. 28 years later, the shit hits the fan again. Then...
28 Centuries Later! Earth has been quarantined by its colonies, but when a chimpanzee is accidently brought past the hypergate to Centauri Nine, hell breaks loose on 2 dozen worlds!
Then: 28 Millenia Later!
Seriously, it wasn't a half bad zombie flick. Apparently all the best directors are Mexican guys making movies about dystopian England.
May 5th, 2007
Bones
Bones this week was particularly lacking. Usually the show annoys me because it dehumanizes scientists, but I watch anyway because I like the cast. This week was annoying for several reasons. I think the Addy character's math about the height of the fall was off and based on questionable assumptions. Cam shouldn't be asking stupid questions like, "How do you know that [some guy was longest in orbit]?", and Hodgins and Addy should responds with, "We call it Google, fuckwit, welcome to the 21st century." And finally, it took them way too long to figure out the guy was cut up with a propeller. I mean c'mon, a fast swing with a curved blade 6.5 cm thick and all this interest in planes to begin with? Christ.
The Spider-Man 3 Novelization...
...sucked too. Not just because they share the same sucky plot, but also because Peter David's writing was cliched and clumsy.
I have to say, I like David's comic book work. Spider-Man 2099, X-Factor (the mid nineties run, I haven't read much of the recent run), his Hulk run, etc. I liked those. But this was painfully bad. I don't remember his Star Trek work being this bad, but that was a decade ago. Maybe he figured it was just a movie adaption, written primarily for people who want the movie thoroughly spoiled for them (me) and the mouth breathing idiots who read movie adaptions because they actually derive entertainment value from them (the rest of you). I can agree with him if that's what he was thinking: a weekend of easy work and off to Smithtown to check out the new comics.
But it might also indicate that comic writers aren't great writers, with exception. If they were, they would be writing, and not leaning on an artist to do most of the description work and to distract from the bad writing with flashy art.
And I like comic books.
Category: Duschbag
I just want people to know that it's inherently a duschbag move to let your sprinkler hit the sidewalk, or the roadway. No one wants to go out for a walk and get wet because you were too lazy to correctly position your sprinkler. Or have their cars covered in dirty little wetspots.
This goes double for people back home in Mesa County, where dirty ass canal water is used.
Hot Fuzz
Was alright. The guys responsible remind me of Broken Lizard. Super Troopers was great, Club Dredd sucked, then Beer Fest was fanfuckingtastic. Shaun of the Dead was great, Hot Fuzz was alright. Maybe Run, Fatboy, Run will be fantabulous. But probably not. I just looked it up and it's directed by David Schwimmer. Maybe I need to wait for Night with the Bites.
Errrr-eh. I hope 28 Weeks Later is entertaining. And that damn pirate movie better make up for the last one. Dead Man's Chest was a three hour movie that felt like half of a movie.
I think I'm turning into my father. He hates every movie he sees too. Hey, upside, The Fountain comes out on DVD May 15th. I liked that quite a bit.
May 4th, 2007
Spider-Man 3...
... was mucho dissapointing.
The Alien Costume
Wasn't done quite right. I'm not going to harp on the fact that Peter could take it off and leave it in the closet, because that was done in the comic as well before the writers started getting creative. so that's understandable. On the other side of the coin though, that was nearly twenty years ago and immediately after that, they established the suit was quite useful because it could take any form.
Peter didn't need to buy a nice suit, he should have seen it on display and the alien costume would have morphed from street clothes into the suit. We kind of see this later, when Eddie goes from cabbie to Venom in the time it takes him to reach back and grab Mary Jane.
They didn't show the power of the suit really. Spider-Man made some comments, but they should have shown how amped he was, instead of just being an emo kid. Part of the problem is, he stopped a train in the last movie. How do you show someone's stronger than that? Stop another train and not pass out? To be fair they kind of showed him as being stronger and faster in the second fight with the New Coke...I mean New Goblin and the second fight with Sandman (and Venom was also shown as being faster and stronger, but was Brock just meaner?). But it could be interpreted as Spider-Man just being meaner. They should have shown Peter just flat out stomping on Harry.
I would also have liked to have seen the costume taking Peter out to patrol while Peter sleeps, waking up exhausted, etc. Really, they should have had a whole movie with Peter in the black. He gets it early in the film, fights it off in the second act, defeats the movies villain at the beginning of the third, and is retaken by the suit and has to fight it off in the Church as the end. This would give time to explore the implications and problems with the suit. Primarily that it's a vampire, not that it makes him a duschbag. As a subplot, develop the Eddie Brock story, but Venom doesn't show up till the next movie.
Venom was abused in this movie. Raimi has always said he didn't like Venom, until someone showed him how to use him in a way he liked. Apparently that was stuffed into the last thirty minutes of a 150 minute film and then thrown away. That line where he says he liked to be bad is the worst crap. Venom doesn't see himself as a bad guy. He just wants to murder Spider-Man, and then save innocent people, in his deranged way. But he would never say he's bad. I also wish they would have played up the fact that he doesn't appear on Spider-Man's spider-sense more. They touched on it, buy maybe too subtle, or just not often enough.
But really, the worst bit about Venom is...
...Topher Grace. Not that he was bad, he was good. Underutilized, but good. But he was the errant Peter Parker. I liked that idea of someone like Peter, who never got the whole absolute power lesson ingrained. But it also showed that Toby McGuire is merely good as Spider-Man/Peter Parker, he isn't great. Topher would have been perfect. He fits the role so much better than McGuire. McGuire is painful when he tries to be funny and they almost never have him wisecrack. Grace spent six or seven seas as a lovable, believable smartass on That 70s Show. That's Spider-Man, cracking jokes while he fights (Spider-Man I substitutes homophobic quips). Topher is lean and wiry, like Spider-Man is depicted in the comics. McGuire has a chin that blends into his neck. Seriously, the guy is getting a no-chin. Hell, if you actually look at the comic, Topher's hair was more like Peter Parkers than McGuire's, despite being blond. That, and McGuire makes funny faces in dramatic scenes. It's like he bet his buddy DeCraprio on how many times he could hide his O-face in Spider-Man.
Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane is merely decent. They did get her hair to be natural looking. But Bryce Dallas Howard was the spitting image of Gwen Stacy. The problem was that I think they're personalities got switched. One of the reason's given for killing Gwen Stacy off was that she came off as boring, while Mary Jane was vivacious. Now, Hollywood has made Mary Jane boring and Gwen Stacy exciting, but they're too pussy to kill her off. Which I'll come back to.
I could believe Mary Jane getting rightfully sacked, because I found Dunst's singing simply uninspiring. I also find it hard to feel sympathy for someone in her very early twenties not being a big star yet. Boo-hoo-hoo, pay your dues and get some training.
I don't like Rosemary Harris either. I literally fell asleep the second time I saw the movie, on her scene.
The deficiencies of McGuire and Dunst are made worse by some of the stellar cast choices. Willem Dafoe was an excellent choice, ruined by dressing him up as a power ranger villain. This is a face that screams Goblin! but they cover it up. That screams stupid. Molina was excellent as Doc Ock. Lowell is great as Sandman (I think my favorite scene in 3 is when he pulls himself together after being transformed). Brendon Dillon has potential as Curt Connors, if they ever use him. J.K. Simmons always makes his scenes as Jameson rewarding. And at least Bruce Campbell is fun. So was James Franco, but I question killing Harry off before we see him get addicted to smack. And where the hell is Flash Thompson? He was more than just a school bully. In the comics right now, Peter is sleepin' on Flash's couch for God's sake. They double dated throughout the seventies and eighties.
This taints the other films
It really does, because this films mistakes are enabled by the previous films. No McGuire O-faces if there is no McGuire in the first film. No mediocre Dunst if she wasn't cast originally. It's the same thing that ruined the X-Men franchise. X3 sucked because X-Men and X2 set up things that left sucking open. If Singer and Raimi hadn't made questionable choices in the first two, the options that made Spider-Man 3 and X-Men 3 lesser films wouldn't have been open.
Foremost, not killing off Spider-Man's first love interest. At which point, most people will chime in some delicious non-sense about kids watching it. To which I say: BAMBI. The main characters mother gets shot and killed and my 2 year old niece can't get enough. Every day with the Bambi. Kids can deal with death, I dealt with the deep loss of Obi-Wan Kenobi at that age. And it would have strengthened the emnity between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin, and made it more meaningful when the Goblin dies. Especially if talent like Bryce Dallas Howard had been dropped off the bridge after a couple of movies of character development.
Instead we got what is really an insult. It is nothing less. "Not only will we not stick to the story you all love, but we'll pervert and lesson the impact, so the scene loses all meaning." They spit on us, and we (the people who but half a dozen tickets over the movies run and inflate its box office) should have walked out right then and there. But hey, everything else was good right? Perfect costume, good origin. What's a little spit?
Now they give us crap like dancing Spider-Man, and swivel hip action Spider-Man. I liked Raimi, but now I'm not so sure. I was a bit dubious about the Burt Bacharach diddly in two, but hey it was fun. We only encouraged him, so we got Saturday Night Spider-Man. Feh.
There's more to say, but I'm tired and feeling I may be a bit incoherent and uncentered. So I'm going to leave off with one last thing:
I hate the particle physics scene with all of my heart. It is nothing less than slander. We would not be one measley fence around an experiment. There would be another around the bowl, the bowl would be well lit so you would get to the fence and see it. We take this seriously. I have heard of people hopping a fence with no visible danger about, in broad daylight, and losing their clearance for life (ie their career) because a sign said not to and they did. And finally, the experiment would not be open to the environment.
Why?
BECAUSE A FUCKING BIRD OR GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE WOULD GET INTO IT! HOW IS THAT A CONTROLLED EXPERIMENT? THEIR SAND COULD FUCKING BLOW AWAY! IT'S A PHYSICS EXPERIMENT, IT'S PROBABLY EXOTIC 5000 DOLLAR A POUND SAND!
...And Across the Universe...
...had better emphasize the psychodelic Eddie Izzard stuff more than the trailer or it will suck ass. Eddie Izzard I will watch. More pablum about how great the baby boomers were [not] doesn't interest me.
May 2nd, 2007
Oral
Woo-hooaah!
I passed my Oral Exam.
Here it is, in all its lack of glory.
I am now a candidate. I have advanced to candidacy.
What am going to do now?
EuroDisney.
August 15th, 2006
Returned from adventures abroad.
July 21st, 2006
I am in Europe right this moment. For a bit of a travelogue, see the bio section.
November 13th, 2005
Oh my god! We've all been outfoxed! How will I protect myself now?!
The Fifth of November, 2005
"Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
the Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot.
I know of no reason, why Gunpowder Treason,
should ever be forgot."
Julian Day 2453666.56036
The trekkies will now have another reason to spew about how full of foresight Star Trek is, goddamit. The military is experimenting
with aluminum oxynitride as a replacement for glass in vehicles. That's right, transparent aluminum, just like the stupid Star Trek time
travel movie. The one with whales. Goddamit.
May the 1st, 221 A.L.:
SAVED! SAVED! Free at last, free at last! The Midnite Cowboy married the Ren Fair Nerd in her grandparent's living room awhile back,
so no hat for me. Yay! yay!
February the 3rd, 2005:
Sometimes I almost believe in karma. Last week Brother #2, the Midnite Cowboy, called me. He was crying. This immediately produced an emotional response
in me. I felt a deep swelling of... hopeful expectation. The last time he called sounding odd he asked me to be the best man at his wedding. He's marrying
a renaissance fair nerdette. Which leads to me being threatened by a tunic and a silly hat in August. The Renaissance Wedding. Christ.
So I had my hopes that Derrick wasn't getting married anymore just so I wouldn't have to wear the stupid outfit so soon (it's the same damn hat I'll have to wear
when I graduate with my PhD, so it is an eventual fate). Then karma comes in. And not the porn star Karma either. That would be a much happier tale. No,
Brother #2 tells me he just had my dog killed. From hopeful joy to impotent rage in thirty seconds. Goddam goddam.
It's been a week. I think I've gotten over the impulse to have someone kill his puppy out of spite. I'm still pissed though. He buried my dog under his damn tree.
And yes. I'm petty about it.
December the 17th, 2004:
Now that the tribulation period (otherwise known as finals) is over, I took some time to update my site. Give
it a bit more razzle-dazzle, and all around make it less lame. I picture the frontpage as something like a blog. Though I'll certainly
be shit poor at updating it and never write anything of the least interest.
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